Doing good

As I prepared to write this I reread what I wrote just a mere two weeks ago and I can not believe what was there. I just can't fathom that I could have written something that I would look at later and it would help me find my way and make important decisions in my life now. On a different note I went to the doctor and he said I am healing well and everything went pretty text book. He said he sees no reason for me not to do it again. Now I have a very personal decision to make, though I have time, those who know me know I don't like internal turmoil. I hesitate to put it out there because the people involved may read this and take it the wrong way but I really need to just write it down and maybe, along with everyone's advice, I can sort it all out in my head. When I started this process I really wanted to help as many people as I could. Well the last family I worked with wants me to do this again for them at least once and possibly twice more. Here is the dilemma it would be easy to do it with the same people again because we have a rapport and a relationship. However would that be cheating someone else that hasn't been able to have even one child out of their dream? Not that I begrudge the original family of more children but I am not sure if I can help them again knowing they have 2 healthy children and there are others out there that really want just one. I also don't want to upset anyone or damage the relationship we have now. So the question is do I take the easy route and help them again or do I help someone else realize their dream. I think I know which way I am leaning but I am curious to see what others think about it. As always I appreciate all of the love and support from my friends and family!

Delivery Date

This will be my last blog before delivery in two days! I am very excited. This time the process has been so much different than the last. I really thought doing it the second time would make it easier instead it taught me that every situation is nothing alike. This journey has had many ups and downs and has showed me even more about myself and what my wants will be when I do this again. Each time something happens good or bad it makes you see the possibilities and helps you see the dream. I love being able to do this and will always have respect for all the people who can't and the ones who will see my journey as a little push do what makes them happy. I really wish I could reach out and do this for everyone that has problems having children but I know being one person I can only do what I can do. I know I say I am going to do this one more time but you never know. The doctor recommends no more than 4 cesareans so I might just do it as many as he deems safe. This experience really enriches my family along with the families I am working with. I hope my children see how important it is to do what you can to help others. I also hope to inspire other people to help in any way you can. I know surrogacy is not for everyone but there is so much more you can do to make someones life just a little better. Final words: Look at the bigger picture and if you can make a small part of that just a tad brighter be brave enough to do it! Love you all!

9 Days!

So I went to the doctor yesterday and he decided since the baby's heart rate and my BP were good we should just wait on the c-section. We are going to give her as much development time as we can. I am still having some contractions but still nothing that would produce any results. I am exhausted and uncomfortable. I only have 9 days left and they are sure to be the longest days of my life but in the end they are all worth it. I really can't wait to see the miracle that I helped create!

Big baby

I went to my normal appointment yesterday. The doctor checked the heart rate and it was all good. He then measured my abdomen, I am 36 weeks 3 days, and he looks at me perplexed. He said does the baby feel big to you? How to answer that question because we have discussed my concerns on her size on several occasions. I said yes she feels big compared to my boys. The biggest baby I delivered was 7lbs 8oz. He proceeded to say that I am measuring full term. He asked how long until the c-section and I told him 17 days. At this time I can tell his mind is turning and he is really thinking about it. Now the size isn't as big of a deal when you are getting a cesarean but there are still other risks like preterm labor, and just getting the baby out of the incision. He finally decides that I should come in next week and he will check me out then possibly send me for an ultrasound. After all that he may schedule the surgery for sooner than planned. They can't do it before 37 and a half weeks without medical necessity so we are just waiting to see. I had to kick my butt into gear and pack my bag. I am ready when ever she is.

Almost there!

Well it has been a while and so much has happened. This pregnancy is kicking me in the butt! I am very exhausted all the time and uncomfortable. This baby is on the big side and she is very active so my belly is moving all the time. Sometimes it can be painful but it is worth it. Well a week and a half ago I started having contractions they weren't regular or frequent but I went to be checked out just in case. They checked the baby, she was good, and then checked to see if they had made any change to my cervix, which luckily they had not. My cervix is still closed and high so he just told me keep an eye on them and if they become frequent or stronger to come back in. So crisis averted. Well this week I went to step off my porch and landed wrong. I sprained my ankle but no major damage. Those who know me well know how graceful I am so this should not surprise you at all. Today I am 36 weeks pregnant and beginning my 9th month of pregnancy. In exactly three weeks I am scheduled for a c-section and I really am ready this time. I think I will do this one more time, I know it will be hard but I can't stop thinking about how hard it must be for those who can not have their own children. Thanks for reading!

Getting There

I had an appointment today and everything is good! She has a steady heart beat and is very, very active. The doctor confirmed she is indeed breech and measuring a little big but nothing he is concerned about. We have the c-section scheduled and ready to go. I can't believe that I have just over 5 weeks left! This pregnancy has went really fast! After much consideration we have decided we will likely do this at least one more time. I just can't help myself I really want to give everyone the chance at a family but I know I am only one person so that is impossible. However, I will do as much as I can. This is the exciting and nerve wracking part. The parents are so excited and will be leaving their country soon to travel to the US. I hope she holds out till the scheduled day!

Doctors

So I went to my appointment today and finally met the doctor that will be doing my c-section. He informed me that there is risk if I go into labor before time but delivering vaginally, if I have to, may not be that big of a concern. It is so funny to see the differences in people the doctor is a gentleman about 50-60 years old, whereas the nurse midwife is a woman 30-40 years old. They are total opposites in the way they view things. I discussed with him the importance of getting a date set sooner rather than later so the parents can plan their trip. He said well lets look at the calendar. I am on call on the 28th (which is the date I am 39 weeks) and I usually schedule surgeries on my on call days. So let's just put you on the schedule for that day. So there you have it in 8.5 weeks I will be undergoing my c-section.