Progress

I am taking this all day by day and so far it seems to be going well. I have not had any bleeding other than the spotting last week. No cramping either. What I am experiencing right now is nausea so that is probably a good sign. I will go next week to have the ultrasound done to visualize the pregnancy sac and be able to tell if there is one or two in there. I actually feel pregnant, I know I am only 5 weeks and 4 days, but I do remember what it was like being pregnant before. I am dreading the hard stuff like morning (or all day for me) sickness. But there is also a lot of things I like about being pregnant that I am looking forward to. I am very excited right now but I am still nervous. I know there are no guarantees in this but I just have to think that if it is meant to be it will be. Everyone that is in this is doing everything that can be done to make this work and there really is nothing more to be done so we just have to wait and hope for the best. My intended parents are great and full of support and encouragement I really couldn't ask for a better situation.

Scary

So I learned that my number more than tripled on Monday to 1777! It was exciting to hear that but yesterday morning I started spotting to lightly bleeding. I freaked out because that is how it all started the other two times. I couldn't help but think here we go again. There was never more than a small amount but it all started with spotting all the other times. It then stopped late in the afternoon but I was worried it would start back up. Well I got through all of today with no bleeding whatsoever. The clinic increased my progesterone injections to twice a day. The nurse also told me that sometimes bleeding occurs for no reason but especially with twins! It is possible there are twins in there but she basically said that it is very much possible. I will go to get an ultrasound to visualize the pregnancy sac the first week of February. Then I will be sure I have not lost it and to see if it is a singleton or twins.

I hate weather!

I went on Monday to get another blood test where they want my numbers to double. Well the person who takes care of all of that was out of the office Monday so she didn't get the results so I emailed her today to see what they were well guess what due to the snow storm they were getting they closed the office for the day. So I have to wait until tomorrow for the results, though I have faith it will be going well I just like the confirmation. I guess we will see in the morning!

Pregnant!

I just got the results from the first blood pregnancy test and it was 547 which is higher than I have ever gotten. This means I am not out of the woods yet it can still fail to progress but it is hopeful. I was told with my first time that the number needed to be over 100 and that time mine was I think 174. Then three days later it was up over 700 and this time the first test is almost as much as the second one was last time. I am so excited to get these results not just for me but for the parents also. They have tried so hard to get to this point and I just feel privileged to be able to be a part of their journey. I really think I just might be able to do it this time! I wasn't sure I would ever be able to do it now I am hopeful. On a side not I have never made it this far without spotting (which progressed to bleeding) so I am even more excited.

It has been one week since the transfer. Not sure I feel any different but how many people feel pregnant at 4 weeks? I had a blood test last Friday to check my hormone levels and all seems to be well so I go this Friday to have a blood pregnancy test if that is confirmed then I have to go back on Monday for another one. I emailed the nurse at the clinic and she asked if I had taken a home pregnancy test. I told her no because before I was told not to in my previous transfers since they can give false hope, the other two times I had several positive hpt with each one. So I took one of the digital ones and it said I am indeed pregnant! It gives me some hope to see that but I still have the fear that maybe the same thing that happened the last two times will happen again. I know I am doing everything that I can and the clinic did everything they could so now we just have to wait and hope it is enough. I went back and looked and on day 8 is when I started spotting last time, but I think it was day 10 the first time. The next few days I will be on pins and needles hoping it doesn't happen again. If this does not work I might seriously doubt whether or not I was meant to do this because there is nothing that can be done differently, we have already done it all. I am keeping very positive and saying that there is no possible reason why this did not work.

Statistics

Looked at the statistics prior to today for the likely hood of IVF taking. Today I found a site that I could compare success rates of the two clinics I have been to and it was very interesting. Of course the results are a little different due to the fresh vs frozen. At the first clinic their rate with thawed embryos is 6/18 and 7/17 with fresh. The clinic I am going through right now is 0/1 thawed transfer and 14/18 fresh embryos. The latter obviously didn't favor thawed transfers in the year of 2011 but the fresh stats are excellent. The first one has just under 50% so maybe there is a reason that it didn't work last time maybe the Dr I am with now is on to something with his intense regimen. I know that the stats can change year to year but I have to believe that this time will be a success for us and I think this doctor is the one to do it for us!

Transfer!

I went to DC for the last step in the fertility process and the transfer went great unfortunately that was the only thing that went great. Firstly we went to check in to the hotel and the girl told me that they needed a credit card for incidentals.I asked her why they needed that because there was a card on file to pay for everything (the agency takes care of the booking and paying). She agreed they do but they needed mine just in case. I asked if they were putting a hold on my card she said yes they were. When I asked her how much of a hold she said $50. So I said whatever just do it we wanted to get to our room. Well on their website they advertised a 24 convenience store type thing with sandwiches, snacks and refreshments. So on our way we decided not to stop anywhere and just get something there. That was a mistake they had five or so salads with no dressing, some chips, some cheese-its, and a few candy bars. There were no prices on anything and the girl at the counter was too busy mooning over some boys eating pizza in the lobby to help us out so we decided to go back to our room and order our own pizza. So the next day I had my husband check my bank account since I gave them my debit card and he told me the hotel had a pending charge of $297. That was not what was agreed upon so I was upset and contacted the surrogacy agency, she was appalled and assured me she would take care of it. After debating with the hotel they told her it was all taken care of. Well when I checked out the next morning I asked the front desk if the hold was taken off my card and it was all taken care of he said yes there was nothing charged to my card. I kept checking the bank account and it was still on there so I had my husband call them. The policy is once someone puts a pending charge it takes time for the funds to be released unless the hotel faxed them a release form I would not be able to access that money till Friday. They faxed the form and hopefully tomorrow it will all be fixed but it has been the biggest hassle ever. There is my rant and my advice is never stay at a Sheraton Hotel. I so hope that the transfer takes because after everything I had to go through to make this happen there better be a light at the end of the tunnel.

Travel Woes

So the Ohio weather is really crazy! We were supposed to fly out 6:20 tomorrow morning but there is supposed to be really frigid temperatures. When I asked the clinic if we have a back up for this if my flight gets cancelled or delayed and I was told we would freeze the embryos and restart my medication cycle. Well the parents believe it is very important to use fresh embryos so if at all possible they wanted me to fly out today. We went back and forth all weekend and they are adamant that this is what they want so I have spent the morning texting, calling, and emailing everyone involved to get all of this changed today! Talk about stressful! I thrive on this type of thing. I think I have it all ready to go on my end we are just working on the flight. Also my rental car is cheaper per day with the change than it was before so that is a plus. I know it will all work out and we will do the transfer tomorrow so wish me luck!

Side note

I have to do IM progesterone injections for this time and I have lots of experience doing them so I felt competent showing my husband how to do them. I instructed him how to do them correctly but it still made me nervous that he did it for the first time and I couldn't see what he was doing so I wasn't sure he was doing it correctly. He did it great and without pain so he did better than some of the students at school professionally trained. I am proud of him!

Weather

Everything went well at the clinic today so the transfer is set for Tuesday! I am so excited but now with Ohio weather I have frustrations. I am worried that the snow and freezing temps may impede my flight. I hope that it all goes well because if not they freeze the embryos and we start my cycle over and postpone it all. It is only a small chance that this will happen but being the planner I am I have to look at all of the possibilities and make a plan. If we can get out that day I was told we can rearrange my appointment so that gives me some hope. I normally don't mind the finicky weather but I just want to do this and get it done we have been waiting long enough for this I don't want to have to postpone it!

Just a thought

I have been told what an amazing thing I am doing with all of this, I guess you would say I am being modest but I don't exactly see it the same way. I know it is a wonderful gift to give someone but for me I am just doing what feels natural. I am not doing it for the praise I am doing it because I can! I am not saying it is right for everyone and all who can should just that it seemed like it was something I should do for someone else but also for me. I am also getting a lot out of this experience, and I am not talking about the money. I am getting a relationship with good people that we will have a bond that you can't have with anyone else. Also I am getting the self confidence that I am a good person and can be selfless (sometimes! LOL). There is so much more I could go on all day. So in short I don't see surrogates as hero's as much as someone who sees this as a way of making a difference for someone else.