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I completely forgot how much I hate the beginning process of surrogacy. I have spent more time dealing with records and insurance than I care to. First of all the risk company that goes through your insurance policy to see if it will be covered had a conference call with me and the insurance company. She initially said usually you just have to be on there to give them permission to speak with us on your behalf then you can hang up and we will continue the conversation. Well that is not how this went I had to stay on the phone the whole time (Over and hour). The person at the insurance said that if they code it a surrogacy pregnancy then they will deny it. When asked where in the policy it states that she could not give us an answer. So we talked to the supervisor whom said pretty much the same stuff. When the risk lady asked about codes they said if you give them a specific code she would check it against her list to see if they would cover it. The surrogacy code (yes there is such a thing!) is not on the list so she rattled another code and when we were told that is not on the list either she said "Oh you won't cover a single live vaginal birth either. You just said she has maternity coverage." They did not know what to say! So they said they would contact the plan administrator and ask for clarification and get back to us in 48 to 72 business hours. That was last week so I should know for sure if they will cover it or not this week. But I did agree to lower my fee a bit if they have to get a separate insurance policy to help make up the difference. It sucks because I have really good insurance now! So then I hear from the agency about the clinic and we need more records! First I need the delivery records from the twins, apparently when I got the records from my OB they do not include those you have to get them from the hospital. Well luckily I still can log into the portal for all my health information but I still had to request the documents I needed. When I sent the request it said it could take up to 30 days for me to get them. I was like dang we could be waiting again. I was also curious how I got through the last surrogacy without them. Someone should have picked up on this before right? Wrong! So anyways I sent the request this morning and actually got them this evening so I didn't have to wait. Next they needed the records from the fertility clinics I went to for both my surrogacies. The clinic for the twins told me they charge for a copy of them a flat rate of $18 then $.50 a page for the first 50 pages then $.25 after that. So my file would cost $59.75! So I asked the agency are you sure you don't have a copy of them? I know you asked for the last surrogacy so surely we took care of that before we moved on. Well after digging and digging they finally found them buried in their emails somewhere so that saved us from having to pay for the new ones. I sent a records release to the second clinic and should get them this week! So I have had to get my records from my boys, the twins, the singleton and not one but two fertility clinics. Needless to say I asked for them to send me copies of all of them so I can keep them safe. In case we do this again I will have them all and will not have to go through this. So we are getting closer to the match process! I can't wait to have all the bureaucracy behind me!

Records

Well I have spent the last two weeks trying to get all the records and insurance stuff together. It was a lot of work to get it all. Back and forth between the agency to me and me to the doctors offices. Apparently they did not have my records from my own children so I had to work magic to get them. I hadn't been to that office for like 10 years but they came through and had them all sent over. I really appreciate everyone that had to pitch in to get them all. Then comes insurance I enrolled and registered on their site. I asked HR at John's work if I could get a copy of the booklet. She said they are only online. I assumed that she meant on the insurance companies website (I have had to go there and get them before). However I couldn't find them, so I chatted on the website to ask where I could find them. They said they aren't on there and we had to ask HR for one. John went in and asked her for one she said she didn't have one. So I called the insurance company to see if they could point me in the right direction. They said they don't have access but if there was a website from his job where he went to enroll for his benefits that is usually where you could find them. Well I finally located and sent it to the agency to be reviewed. Hopefully I will be matched really soon! I will keep you informed!

Long time

It has been so long since I have written a post. There has been so much going on with me that I haven't had time. We have moved and now reside in Georgia! That makes the surrogacy thing easier. I have decided that I want to do it again but for someone other than the last couple. I have a lot of things that I will not want in my next experience. The first is I would like to work for a gay couple. I know all these people turn to surrogacy because they can not have children but there is no way gay men can have a baby without involving a woman in some way. Whether it be surrogacy or adoption they can't do it alone. I just think it would be a good experience for not only me but also my boys. I will be slowly starting the process again now ( I am not getting any younger!!). I am working to get everything together now. I will keep y'all updated as I go!

Doing good

As I prepared to write this I reread what I wrote just a mere two weeks ago and I can not believe what was there. I just can't fathom that I could have written something that I would look at later and it would help me find my way and make important decisions in my life now. On a different note I went to the doctor and he said I am healing well and everything went pretty text book. He said he sees no reason for me not to do it again. Now I have a very personal decision to make, though I have time, those who know me know I don't like internal turmoil. I hesitate to put it out there because the people involved may read this and take it the wrong way but I really need to just write it down and maybe, along with everyone's advice, I can sort it all out in my head. When I started this process I really wanted to help as many people as I could. Well the last family I worked with wants me to do this again for them at least once and possibly twice more. Here is the dilemma it would be easy to do it with the same people again because we have a rapport and a relationship. However would that be cheating someone else that hasn't been able to have even one child out of their dream? Not that I begrudge the original family of more children but I am not sure if I can help them again knowing they have 2 healthy children and there are others out there that really want just one. I also don't want to upset anyone or damage the relationship we have now. So the question is do I take the easy route and help them again or do I help someone else realize their dream. I think I know which way I am leaning but I am curious to see what others think about it. As always I appreciate all of the love and support from my friends and family!

Delivery Date

This will be my last blog before delivery in two days! I am very excited. This time the process has been so much different than the last. I really thought doing it the second time would make it easier instead it taught me that every situation is nothing alike. This journey has had many ups and downs and has showed me even more about myself and what my wants will be when I do this again. Each time something happens good or bad it makes you see the possibilities and helps you see the dream. I love being able to do this and will always have respect for all the people who can't and the ones who will see my journey as a little push do what makes them happy. I really wish I could reach out and do this for everyone that has problems having children but I know being one person I can only do what I can do. I know I say I am going to do this one more time but you never know. The doctor recommends no more than 4 cesareans so I might just do it as many as he deems safe. This experience really enriches my family along with the families I am working with. I hope my children see how important it is to do what you can to help others. I also hope to inspire other people to help in any way you can. I know surrogacy is not for everyone but there is so much more you can do to make someones life just a little better. Final words: Look at the bigger picture and if you can make a small part of that just a tad brighter be brave enough to do it! Love you all!

9 Days!

So I went to the doctor yesterday and he decided since the baby's heart rate and my BP were good we should just wait on the c-section. We are going to give her as much development time as we can. I am still having some contractions but still nothing that would produce any results. I am exhausted and uncomfortable. I only have 9 days left and they are sure to be the longest days of my life but in the end they are all worth it. I really can't wait to see the miracle that I helped create!

Big baby

I went to my normal appointment yesterday. The doctor checked the heart rate and it was all good. He then measured my abdomen, I am 36 weeks 3 days, and he looks at me perplexed. He said does the baby feel big to you? How to answer that question because we have discussed my concerns on her size on several occasions. I said yes she feels big compared to my boys. The biggest baby I delivered was 7lbs 8oz. He proceeded to say that I am measuring full term. He asked how long until the c-section and I told him 17 days. At this time I can tell his mind is turning and he is really thinking about it. Now the size isn't as big of a deal when you are getting a cesarean but there are still other risks like preterm labor, and just getting the baby out of the incision. He finally decides that I should come in next week and he will check me out then possibly send me for an ultrasound. After all that he may schedule the surgery for sooner than planned. They can't do it before 37 and a half weeks without medical necessity so we are just waiting to see. I had to kick my butt into gear and pack my bag. I am ready when ever she is.