Another trip is a complete sucess!

So John and I went to DC for our psych consult and I had a lining check. We found out great news while we were there that the donor and I both look great and on track for an on time transfer. This meeting was also about meeting the intended parents in person and spending some time with them. We all got along so good and I am happy with the relationship that is forming there. I liked them so much that now I am even a little more nervous. What if something goes wrong or this doesn't take? I have always thought that but after getting to know them if that happens I will be even more hurt and feel worse because I really want them to get what they want. However I would not change the situation for the world I don't think there are any better intended parents for me at this point. I am so excited and I hope that it all works out!

Stress, Stress and more stress!

So John and I are set to go to DC tomorrow and I get a call today that the child that my in-laws took in has bronchitis or pneumonia. Obviously I don't want to send the boys there in those germs. However they were the only family member available on that day to keep them so I had to move some mountains to get it all covered and had to rearrange all of the plans to make it fit. My mind was running a million miles a minute to figure it all out and came up with many options. Luckily I have some great friends and I worked something out. It really was a group effort but I moved things around and I think it will all work out just fine. This is not really a way you want to start your trip but at least it is all fixed now. I am so lucky to have such wonderful family and friends to help me (If I didn't ask you don't be offended you were probably on my list!) Thank you to all of you for your love and support!

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to all you don't know how much it means to me that people are actually interested in my process and reading what I have to say! Last week I had a lining check and boy that turned into a long day, luckily I have great friends that took me to and from the airport. I left Dayton at 6:20am so I was there at like 4:30am. I had a driver pick me up from the airport and take me straight to the clinic. After my lining check the driver picked me up and took me to the airport. Usually I fly in and out of Regan International because it is cheaper but this time I landed at Regan but left from Dulles. I do not recommend that airport it is going up stairs, down stairs, on the train, up stairs, up stairs, down stairs, then walk a mile to your terminal. Needless to say it was horrible and I was by myself so I was already nervous about it. Well I landed back at home at 2pm and had to go straight from the airport to get the boys from school. After all that I had to go home and take a nap! So I have started my medications and this time I think I am feeling more of the side effects such as muscle cramps. I am actually remembering to take everything which is a good thing, though without the reminders on my phone I don't know what I would do. I just went through all of my plans for my next two appointments and man there are a lot of factors. I checked the hotel reservations, flight plans(to make sure I am at the airport on time!), rental car details, and I had to mapquest directions to the hotel and to the clinic. I got all that done so I think I am ready for the second trip this weekend. I have a lining check and psychologist appointment in the same day and I get to take my husband with me this time! All that on top of the stress of planning for Christmas. Well I guess it suits me and I must thrive under pressure! I really want to thank you all for reading and I wish you a Merry Christmas and happy New Year!

Schedule

I know have a schedule and will have a transfer the beginning of January. I have to make a trip to DC next week and then again ten days later then the transfer the following week. I also go the meds today and they are a lot different with the process. I am taking three of the same things but then I am taking a few others and some folic acid and a baby aspirin. So I am hoping with all of the changes we get a much more positive result. I am very excited and optimistic about this process.

Progress

We are finally signing the contracts! After so many tries we will also be doing our group counseling session before the first of the year. I don't have a new schedule yet and won't for at least two weeks but this appointment has to be done prior to the transfer so I am glad to be getting it done. I may also be able to do a lining check at the same time since we will likely be seeing someone in the DC area. We are moving along and I can't wait!

Change

Now the schedule has changed so we are waiting again. There was just no way to get everything that needs to be done in the week of Christmas. Now we are trying to come up with a new schedule but we have to work around the egg donor. This is so different the last time it could be adjusted to fit me but not this time due to the medications and timing you have to adhere by to make harvesting the eggs work correctly. So it looks like a transfer in Mid January lets cross our fingers and hope that it all falls into place.

Different

I just got my potential schedule for the medications and a transfer date. The difference is that this time I have to go to DC three time instead of just one. Before I went to a clinic here for the baseline lining check and the pre-transfer lining check so I only had to travel there for the transfer. I asked out of curiosity what the reasoning was that it was different. She said this is the way the Dr likes to do it and his success rate does speak for itself which was a good answer. So I guess I will be going there multiple times over the next just about month.

Moving along

First great thing is the couples first choice egg donor was available! So by next week we should have a schedule for the fertility drugs and have a tentative transfer date. Also the contracts are nearing completion so that will be out of the way soon too! This whole thing is moving along nicely hopefully we start off the New Year with a healthy pregnancy! This is so exciting I am very happy that it is all going smoothly. I can't wait to give the intended parents what they have always wanted. Lets hope and pray it all works this time! Fingers crossed!

Interesting

I am finding this more and more interesting with the more I find out. I have talked about how different the process is this time and it is getting more so by the day! The last time when I got the first positive pregnancy test I asked if I should start some prenatal vitamins. I never got an answer to that question however this time the Dr. already had me start them and I haven't even gone through the transfer. Also last time they didn't do any blood tests to check for underlying issues so after the testing this week they discovered that my Thyroid is a little off and that can cause some fertility issues if left untreated. Also the fact that as mentioned in the last post that the Dr said my lining was to thick for his liking. I am not putting the other clinic down or saying they did it all wrong but I am saying that maybe, not definitely, it would have worked before if these things would have been remedied prior to my first transfer. This is all very eye opening for me I don't want to compare one place to another this one is just a better fit for me though it may not be the case for everyone!

Well John and I went to DC for some testing. I will say again process is totally different this time my pretesting with the last clinic was a vaginal ultrasound where the Dr. looked at everything then said yep it all looks good we can proceed with the process. Well not so this time I had a mock transfer which was no big deal except that they told me to drink 64 oz of fluid, though I only got 45-50 down they do the ultrasound and he tells me your bladder is too full I can't see the uterus. You need to go to the restroom and count to 20 stop peeing and come back. That is easier said than done but I did it. Next I had a HSG where they inject saline and air mixture to check the flow in your uterus and tubes. That didn't hurt but I had some terrible cramps for a while after that procedure. I went back for day two of the appointment got a routine physical and a hysteroscopy, where they take live pics of the inside of your reproductive organs, with all the testing the doctor decided he wanted to scrape part of my uterine lining. He said it was thicker than he would like to see it that he would just take part of it off to hopefully help our odds of success this time. The nurse told me most women that have had children don't really feel a thing. Apparently they were all on drugs or I am not most women because it hurt really bad. It took all I had to not come up off the table it was so painful that we had to sit in the car for a while before I could even function. I then had to pee in a cup tried twice and couldn't. So I came back an hour and a bottle of water later and went but half of it went in the toilet so it was still not enough. Came back two hours later and filled the whole cup up and probably had a whole cup in the toilet so it was a success. The worst part about the trip was this time I rented a car and had to drive there those people are freaking crazy there! But with all that being said I would do all of this again to reach the goal of this taking this time!

My cycle started today so we are starting the process this time is much different. Not only do we have a different Dr. we also are using fresh embryos, whereas the last two transfers I had were frozen embryos so the whole process is vastly changed from the other times. I guess I have to make an impromptu trip to DC in the next week or so. I will have to be there for two appointments on consecutive days for some testing. It will be fun I am just not sure who will be available to go with me this time. It was unexpected, since I didn't have to do this for the last time, so I hadn't made prior plans. I am so glad to get the process started though.

I signed and sent my letter of intent with a couple and their Dr. received my records. We are on to the next step of the process. We sign contracts and wait on my cycle which will be here any day now. As soon as that happens we will start the fertility process. This is really exciting I can't wait and I will keep you updated Thanks to all who are following this journey of mine!

Well I had a conference call with some intended parents today. It was great! They have got me excited about the process again. I really hope for both of us that this process works. I just can't wait to get it started. I also had my first Skype experience it went OK!

I have been waiting since June to move forward with the third attempt with my IP and I found out today that she will not be continuing with the journey. I am in some ways sad about the decision but I believe it is what is for the best. I truly think that it must not have been meant to happen for us. Don't worry this has not ended my goal of becoming a surrogate. I am in contact with the agency to be set up with another set of parents she has some in mind and will contact them and get back with me in the next few days. I just hope that I can give this gift to someone! I am excited and nervous about starting the process over again. I will keep you posted!

I went through ultrasounds, injections, and pills so we set a transfer date for Tuesday the 18th. Great right? Well yesterday I got a call from the IP's people and with all the fears and emotions she has decided to hold off for another month and start the process over again. I really do understand what she means this is stressful on both of us maybe a little extra time is what we need. However I do wish these concerns would have come up prior to me starting all the treatments. That being said I am not upset or holding any thing against anyone. It is hard for all of us and not knowing if it will even work is a big fear for me and her both. I hope for everyone's sanity that this break is the defining factor and we have good results.

I know it has been so long since I have posted but I had to take some time off of everything surrogacy related to get into the right frame of mind. I was frustrated and stressed when the transfer didn't work last time. I have went over it in my own head again and again trying to figure out why this isn't happening but I have resigned to the fact that there is only about a 30% success rate and there is no specific reasons why it did or did not work. I think I am in a much better place right now and we will be doing transfer #3 in the next couple weeks. Let's hope the third time is a charm!

Frustrating

So I went on Friday and got an ultrasound and unfortunately there was no pregnancy sac in my uterus so I lost it again. I know that if it is meant to happen it will eventually. We are just waiting for my #'s to go back to 0 then I am guessing we start all over again. This is so frustrating for me but I can only imagine how the mother feels. I hope the third time is a charm and we can finally do this. I hate to feel like I am disappointing someone who just wants this so bad. But I am sure this time there was nothing I could have done differently. I did all that I was supposed to do and I also reduced my stress as much as possible so I know it wasn't anything I did. I am at the mercy of the embryos and my body and apparently they are not cooperating right now I just pray they get with the program.

Hope

Now that there is no more bleeding I finally have some hopeful news. My Beta #'s are low but they are doubling as they should be! I have an ultrasound on Friday to confirm the heart beat! I am so excited I just don't want to jinx it!

Progress

Well I had some major cramping and bright red bleeding starting on Monday and ending on Saturday I gave up all hope that the transfer took. I had a blood test on that Saturday and my Beta was detectable but low so she sent me back on Tuesday for another test and that must have come back higher because she sent me back Thursday to get another blood test. We tried to contact one and other on Friday so I could find out the results but kept missing each other. So no conclusive results yet, but yesterday I was having a pain that I had when I was pregnant with my boys. So I bought a home pregnancy test and took it last night. It came up positive faster than any test has ever come up positive for me so it just might have worked this time I will talk to them tomorrow to see what the blood tests revealed!

worry

Warning this may be a little graphic but I don't know how to get into it without being so. The other day after using the restroom when I wiped there was a pink tint to the toilet paper. Being through my previous experience I, of course, freak out and think it must be happening again. I have had a few streaks of blood and the tint on the paper for four days now not consistently but enough to still have me worried. I hope all is OK and the embryo's are just implanting. I really want this to work this time.

The transfer is done! Now we just hope it sticks this time I will get a blood test next week to see if it implanted. I hope all goes well this time and we get a baby out of this.

Tomorrow

My mom and I will be going to DC in the morning I am so ready to do this thinking positive thoughts!

Transfer

I will be going to do the transfer next week! I can't wait but I am very nervous. I just hope that all goes well and it takes this time and I do not lose it. I will keep you posted on what happens!

I finally got a date for the transfer! It will be the end of this month now just have to wait( that is the hard part!) Just a little more than three weeks and my mom will be going to DC with me! I can't wait!

Funny

In all my life I never wished for my period to start but with all of the stuff going into this process I hope that it starts and on time! When you are going through the fertility process you are excited about the strangest things and look forward to thing that you never thought you would be. The waiting is the worse part and the fact that you have no control over when it will happen. My husband and I can not have any more kids so before this I didn't care if it ever came because I knew I wasn't pregnant. Now I am praying for it to come and can't wait until it does. When it comes I will be jumping for joy. That is so funny to me.

Worries

My biggest worry is that I will never be able to get pregnant and I will let everyone down. I have never had any issues getting pregnant ( or staying that way for that matter). So now I am scared after losing the first pregnancy that it will happen again or we will not conceive at all. I know there are people who want this so much and what if I can't do it? Was I not meant to give someone this wonderful gift? I still don't have an answer as to what happened the first time so that makes it scarier. Maybe there was some issue with me. We will probably never know but I read all of the surrogacy success stories and makes me wonder if that will ever be me. I sure hope it will!!

2nd try

I have started the injections and if all goes well we will be going back to DC at the end of Feb. I really can't wait and I hope for her sake that it all takes.

The beginning

This summer I found the perfect agency and was matched with an intended parent. My husband and I went to DC and went through some psychological and medical testing with everything coming out OK. We just waited for my cycle then we started some medications. I was so excited to get a transfer date it was November 13th. My sister and I took the trip back to DC where there were two embryos implanted into my uterus. Nine days later I had to go get a blood test to see if they implanted and they like to see the Beta around 100 and mine was 174! We were all so excited! Three days later I had to get another blood test to confirm that it was all good and they want the numbers to at least double in that time span. Well mine went up over 700 but prior to the test some bleeding started. We had to go on and just hope that it was one of the thousands of other things causing the problem. A week or so  later we went back to get another blood test to see if it was indeed a miscarriage. That was really devastating to hear.

Intro

With inspiration from my son I decided to blog about my surrogacy journey. I am Mandi a 31 year old female with 3 sons. Tyler is 10, Toby is 8, and Trevor is 5. I have been married for 10 years and love being a mother and a wife. About 5 years ago I decided I would like to become a surrogate. My feeling is I had a rather easy time being pregnant and birthing my boys and wanted to do it for someone whom may not be as fortunate as I have been. After all I don't know what I would do with out my boys and I thought it would be a blessing if I could do it for someone else.