Bedrest sucks!

Well the transfer is done! It went great! The worst thing was the strict bedrest for 2 days. Laying in bed all day is not as fun as it sounds. It gets really boring but I got through it. We were in Portland for four days but barely left the hotel room. First of all it was cold after the sun went down. Also we are in a new town with no transportation. John did go out on his own while I was in bed and he found a few blocks filled with food trucks. I had a brat that was delicious and he had tacos. It was delicious! The room service was good though. It was good all in all and everything went well. Now we wait to see if it all worked out.

Transfer Time

Well I go for the transfer in 5 days! Everything is in place, the kids, flights and hotel. We are traveling tomorrow to take the boys to Ohio. They will be staying a week with our families. Then we leave bright and early Monday morning for Atlanta. This flight will layover in Denver! I read an article written by someone involved in the clinic I am working with now and it really explained the reason for surrogacy with people from Israel especially gay couples. There you have to go through a lot of stuff and meet many qualifications to even be considered for surrogacy. Thus the reason why many of them come to the United States. There are many intricacies that I did not know about and this article opened my eyes to the differences. Please keep me in your thoughts Tuesday!

Waiting

This is the hardest part of the process. We have a potential transfer date and have started the medications. We had some major discussions with the plans. The clinic prefers that you wait until the lining check (mine is in two weeks) to make plans because once they get those results the transfer date may change. However if you wait too long then the flights can be outrageous. So the agency, parents, and I talked and decided that we should just book the flights and hope for the best. The agency has been able to change flights with medical reasons. She also mentioned that Southwest has no change fees so if we could find flights with them that would be ideal. The thing about Southwest is they do not have assigned seats just boarding groups. This means John and I might not be able to sit next to each other. After checking out their website I found out for $15 per person per trip you can get early bird check in which means you get to check in 12 hours before everyone else. This means you will get a higher seating group. So we made the compromise with that. Then we found out they don't fly out of Chattanooga which is so much closer and we would have to go to Atlanta, an almost 2 hour drive, to fly out. That sucks but again we will compromise because it costs so much less and if we so need to change it then we don't have to pay the fees just the difference in tickets. Now everything is in place and I just have to take the medications diligently and wait. It seems so close yet so far. We have everything planned now we wait!

Moving along

So things have been going really fast for us now! After the trip basically we had to get everything together to start the process. Originally we had come up with a date that would work for us. It was very convenient being the first week of Christmas break and my mom was coming down on her way south. After having everything set the clinic realized that the week I wanted to do it the doctor is out of the office so we had to either do it the week before or wait until after the holidays. The first thing was making sure we could get the contract in place in time. We have to have everything wrapped up prior to starting medications. Also there has to be a period of time for the process. So after much consideration we decided to do it the week prior which means we had to figure out what to do with the kids. We decided we would pull them out of school for the week before break and let them go to Ohio to spend time with family while John and I go to Portland. After all this we came to the best decision we could. Then it came to the contract once the agency got it finished it went quick I had a lawyer that got me in fast for a phone appointment so we wrapped that up very quick. When getting ready to sign the contract I had to print it out and have a notary to sign a few pages. About half way through the printing of course I ran out of ink. Had to run to the store and get more but we also had a limited time because it was Saturday and we had to get it done before 3 when they closed. We finally got it all done! Now once the guys get their's done we will get legal clearance so we can order medications and get a concrete plan in place. I am getting more and more excited!

First trip over!

Well I went to Portland this week! The biggest thing is no more hour or two flights it takes like 7 to get there. So one day trips are impossible. I was on 5 total planes in two and a half days! The trip went well! The hotel was nice even though I arrived there at 11pm their time and we are 3 hours ahead of them so I was exhausted. I also learned no more flying through Dallas/Fort Worth. That airport is crazy and hard to make it where you need unless you have 2 hours. I had an appointment on the second day early morning. The doctor did all the test and said everything went smoothly. He said I am good to go for the transfer. I then met with the coordinators where we went over all the paperwork and records that I would need. We also discussed the calendar and medication they use. I found out that I can plan it around my schedule. The first time we had to go on the egg donor's schedule due to using fresh embryos. The last time there really wasn't an option they just told me when to start. That may have been in part to me not asking about choices. Well now we just have a few things to get together and the contracts and we will be starting the medications! I am excited!

Fast

Things are moving really fast! I had a phone appointment with the clinic and when we discussed the next step and she said we will wait on your cycle to begin. Well I told her it would start the very next day. She said we can do it now or wait until next month. I am very impatient so of course I said yes lets start it now. That involves me going to Oregon next week! So I have been spending time finding flights that would work with the appointment and John's schedule. That is the biggest pain in the butt ever! I will fly in Wednesday evening then leave there Thursday afternoon though I will not make it back home until 9 am the next morning. It will be a long few days but I am sure I will get through it. The bad thing is being so quick we didn't think it would be fair to ask someone to take care of the boys for us so I will be going to a brand new place on my own. I will be having a 5 hour layover in LAX I am not sure whether to be scared or excited. It will all go well I am sure.

New start

This weekend, on the twins birthday, I was approved by the fertility clinic to get my treatment there. So today I spoke with a new couple! It was a gay couple from Israel. They are a great pair. So now we both decide if we want to work together or not. I really liked them and could see myself working with them. Now the ball is in their court and they get to decide if they want to work with me. They hope for twins one embryo from both partners. They both have six embryos with their DNA one has all girls and the other all boys. If they decide to work with me it will move rather quickly so this time I will have to go to Oregon. I was told today I may not be able to do this again because most clinics won't except someone with more than 5 or 6 deliveries. So this might be my last chance. I better make it count!

More

I completely forgot how much I hate the beginning process of surrogacy. I have spent more time dealing with records and insurance than I care to. First of all the risk company that goes through your insurance policy to see if it will be covered had a conference call with me and the insurance company. She initially said usually you just have to be on there to give them permission to speak with us on your behalf then you can hang up and we will continue the conversation. Well that is not how this went I had to stay on the phone the whole time (Over and hour). The person at the insurance said that if they code it a surrogacy pregnancy then they will deny it. When asked where in the policy it states that she could not give us an answer. So we talked to the supervisor whom said pretty much the same stuff. When the risk lady asked about codes they said if you give them a specific code she would check it against her list to see if they would cover it. The surrogacy code (yes there is such a thing!) is not on the list so she rattled another code and when we were told that is not on the list either she said "Oh you won't cover a single live vaginal birth either. You just said she has maternity coverage." They did not know what to say! So they said they would contact the plan administrator and ask for clarification and get back to us in 48 to 72 business hours. That was last week so I should know for sure if they will cover it or not this week. But I did agree to lower my fee a bit if they have to get a separate insurance policy to help make up the difference. It sucks because I have really good insurance now! So then I hear from the agency about the clinic and we need more records! First I need the delivery records from the twins, apparently when I got the records from my OB they do not include those you have to get them from the hospital. Well luckily I still can log into the portal for all my health information but I still had to request the documents I needed. When I sent the request it said it could take up to 30 days for me to get them. I was like dang we could be waiting again. I was also curious how I got through the last surrogacy without them. Someone should have picked up on this before right? Wrong! So anyways I sent the request this morning and actually got them this evening so I didn't have to wait. Next they needed the records from the fertility clinics I went to for both my surrogacies. The clinic for the twins told me they charge for a copy of them a flat rate of $18 then $.50 a page for the first 50 pages then $.25 after that. So my file would cost $59.75! So I asked the agency are you sure you don't have a copy of them? I know you asked for the last surrogacy so surely we took care of that before we moved on. Well after digging and digging they finally found them buried in their emails somewhere so that saved us from having to pay for the new ones. I sent a records release to the second clinic and should get them this week! So I have had to get my records from my boys, the twins, the singleton and not one but two fertility clinics. Needless to say I asked for them to send me copies of all of them so I can keep them safe. In case we do this again I will have them all and will not have to go through this. So we are getting closer to the match process! I can't wait to have all the bureaucracy behind me!

Records

Well I have spent the last two weeks trying to get all the records and insurance stuff together. It was a lot of work to get it all. Back and forth between the agency to me and me to the doctors offices. Apparently they did not have my records from my own children so I had to work magic to get them. I hadn't been to that office for like 10 years but they came through and had them all sent over. I really appreciate everyone that had to pitch in to get them all. Then comes insurance I enrolled and registered on their site. I asked HR at John's work if I could get a copy of the booklet. She said they are only online. I assumed that she meant on the insurance companies website (I have had to go there and get them before). However I couldn't find them, so I chatted on the website to ask where I could find them. They said they aren't on there and we had to ask HR for one. John went in and asked her for one she said she didn't have one. So I called the insurance company to see if they could point me in the right direction. They said they don't have access but if there was a website from his job where he went to enroll for his benefits that is usually where you could find them. Well I finally located and sent it to the agency to be reviewed. Hopefully I will be matched really soon! I will keep you informed!

Long time

It has been so long since I have written a post. There has been so much going on with me that I haven't had time. We have moved and now reside in Georgia! That makes the surrogacy thing easier. I have decided that I want to do it again but for someone other than the last couple. I have a lot of things that I will not want in my next experience. The first is I would like to work for a gay couple. I know all these people turn to surrogacy because they can not have children but there is no way gay men can have a baby without involving a woman in some way. Whether it be surrogacy or adoption they can't do it alone. I just think it would be a good experience for not only me but also my boys. I will be slowly starting the process again now ( I am not getting any younger!!). I am working to get everything together now. I will keep y'all updated as I go!